GRUFC "Profile a Player" Simon Cassell

Simon, How did you start playing rugby?

I followed suit. My brother Sean started playing after England won the world cup and progressed quickly into the 1st team. So I thought I would have a dabble. I knew I was quick enough and agile enough to play I just didn't know how. So I thought forget it ill have a go. I couldn't just go on all the nights out and not get roughed up on a Saturday so I had to learn quickly.

Tell us something about your rugby career, which clubs you have played for and what holds for the future?

I played rugby league at university, Chester Raiders, and when I finished uni I didn't play for a while. I then joined up at Glossop and have been learning how to play ever since, which is close to a year now. The future holds more concussions and guaranteed try's. When I learn how to properly apply my pace there won't be many catching me ha ha ha.

You are a School teacher at All Saints, is this your first teaching post?

First official teaching post yes, I've trained in several schools but I gained Qualified Teacher Status last year. I work with Lee Pickerill and George Fitton two other club members which is quality cos we have a good laugh in work and at the club after a few beers on a Saturday. The Fitton and I are drinking machines.

Have you any match day superstitions?

None, just that I' m gonna get smashed off a unit every week but that's more of a joke with the lads. Me, Andy Gibb and my brother Alex Cassell have a little try scoring comp going on so we're usually 'ribbing' each other about that before, during and after the game.

Any other sporting achievements?

Not really any playing achievements. I've got a degree in sport science and several coaching qualifications but apart from that just one or two football trophies from when I was younger. I wasn't into the ruby when I was younger because I was literally about 3ft tall.

Do you play any other sports or have any other pastimes?

I play football during the week. I also go to the gym to try and get massive but I just seem to become paler and more gaunt by the day. More protein required I think. What's your biggest ever disaster during a game, if you have ever had one?.

Any amusing on pitch or other rugby incidents that you would like to recall for us?

No real disasters but there's a few amusing incidents. I was playing in the over/under 30's 'exhibition' game that we play once a year up at the club. I ended up on the over thirties to make up numbers which put me opposite my brother Sean who plays first team with the majority of the under thirties. The under 30's lads had the ball and set up a ruck on the opposite side of the field which sucked in a lot of our players including some backs. The ball come out from 9 - 10 and into the hands of my brother who had moved inside. There was a two man over lap and he ran straight at me. I thought right I'm gonna smash him here and save the day'. So I lined him up and hit him hard. Wrong, my bro who is 2 stone heavier ran straight into me, I performed the worst tackle ever and found my self in a crumple on the floor. He passed the ball and Oba scored. I was shortly after stretched off with a twisted knee, mint. Those who saw found it very amusing. What's worse is he's 2 years younger ha ha ha. A second time was more recent playing against Sale. I arrived 50 mint's after kick off with the worst hang over ever experienced on the planet. I was picked but had no intention of playing. While I was watching one of the lads got injured and I got the nod. I had to change on the side line still pretty pissed and sprint on. First thing I had to do was catch a high ball, I caught it after seeing four of them and set off running. I stepped the centre and was through facing the full back and one winger. At this point I did the stupidest thing ever, (which I can't explain), I kicked the ball over into the try zone and dead. I was then sick twice and got a lot of stick of the lads. The very next play I had to make a tackle and was sick again. Great game.

It's our round, what do you fancy?

Strongbow, PINT!

Who is your favourite pin-up-girl ?

Do I have to have a favourite, give me the lot. Brooke Bourke is very hot and you've got to love Lucy Pinders eyes if you know what I mean.

Who would play you in the film version of your life?

Got to be some one a bit insane cos I just cock about all the time. Some one like Adam Sandler I think. He can be serious sometimes but most of the time he just messes about and does things off the cuff.

What would be your theme song?

Benny hill theme tune

Your fantasy career?

Got to be Jeremy Clarkson's job. Testing mint cars all day for shed loads of money, who doesn't want to do that. I'd equally be happy being a professional sportsman, probably football with the money in it now a days. But I'd be equally happy with rugby.

How would you blow £50,000?

Good holiday with the boys on the lash, beer, nice car, deposit on a house. I think I need another £50,000.

If you could own any car what would it be?

Aston Martin DBS

What would be your three desert island books be?

Nuts, Zoo, TV times just in case a TV washes up. I don't do reading, there's always a film made a year later for me to catch up in half the time. I have the concentration span of a nat.

What are your three all time favourite music tracks (and who by)?

Oasis - Master Plan. Greenday -Time of my life. That Christmas one where he says 'you scum bag, you fagot' - awesome.

What would be your ideal holiday?

Skiing with the boys and several very hot ladies. A log cabin, loads of snow and a big fire. Loads of bars and no injuries, perfect. No ladies then we'll find them there, just as perfect. Oh, beer as well.

If you were on a long flight who would you most like to sit next to and have a good long chat?

If it was a girl some one with a good set of 'eyes' to keep my attention. Probably Davina McCall cos she's fit and would have the crack. I wouldn't get bored which isn't difficult for me to do. I couldn't be doing with a really hot dumb ass she'd just frustrate me and Id spend my time figuring out how to pull her. If it was a man then probably some one like Lewis Moody, find out what it was like through the world cup. He's legend as well, quality player.

Thank you Simon,

Tim Hopkins Web Master